Lead Your Life

Leadership, Awareness, and Growth

Compassion without deception April 26, 2017

Filed under: Uncategorized — laurajuarez @ 3:04 pm
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This week, a teacher suggested a practice of self compassion without self-deception.  This calls us to look at a fact pattern peacefully without judgement & with forgiveness and curiosity.  What is there for us to learn when we discern the truth of our behavior, habits, and beliefs?

If we believe that everything is energy – every thought, fear, emotion – then we acknowledge it has a natural rhythm.  A coming and going; beginning and end.  Just like our breath, it arrives, fulfills its purpose, and without clinging or stickiness, leaves as gracefully as it entered.

It’s easy to allow our breath to enter and exit with ease because we have no story around our breath.  Fear, on the other hand, is shrouded with story, and it is the story that breeds shame and shame that breeds coagulation in our body.  Our fear literally hardens and lodges into our cellular being; locking itself in our heart, lungs, hips.  And over time, our fear becomes our way of being.

There’s a humanness to this reality, and this is where self-compassion comes in.  Can you just notice where fear has solidified in your body and give yourself permission to feel it deeply?  Just let it be and sit in its discomfort?  For we know this fear isn’t really “stuck” in our bones – we’re simply choosing to live the story that it is.

And when we’ve honored it by feeling it deeply, much like the breath completes its function and exits, we can then allow it to drain from our being.  Breathe it out.

And as new fears arise, simply breathe them in fully.  Sit in their discomfort and feel them completely.  Allow yourself to experience their teaching & their pain.  And then when you are done, breathe out what you want more of in your life.

This may be counterintuitive as we typically practice breathing in what we want more and out what we want less of.  However, by breathing in what we no longer want, we invite ourselves to process it completely.  By breathing out what we desire, we share our learning and light with the world.  This practice of sharing strength and beauty through our breath reminds us we are not alone.

Through the practice of self-compassion without self deception, we skillfully balance self-acceptance and growth.  Through the practice of breathing in discomfort, being with it, and breathing out peace, we remember we are one of many;  standing in service of a global community of human beings struggling just as we do.  Our biggest fears  are teaching opportunities for us to have compassion for the world.

 

Shirley Temples On The House July 13, 2011

Major breakthrough last night.  After months of practice, coaching, discussion, & tears, my six-year-old daughter finally mastered the two-wheel bike.  This is Big.  Like Shirley Temples & Smoothies For Dinner Big.  

Maya is a naturally coordinated and thus, I expected she would start riding her bike at a younger age simply because of this. But fear stalled her out.  Not just normal fear of falling, but big, irrational, tear-jerking fear.  Fear so big she was hardly willing to try.  Even mentioning a bike without training wheels resulted in her running from the room. 

Maya is not a fearful person.  She is actually courageous, creative, and willing.  However, she was literally immobilized by an irrational fear of this monstrous two-wheeled creature in our garage. 

Isn’t this true for most of us?  While there are some people who are gripped & plagued by generalized fear, most people have “a thing” that terrifies them, a “project” that haunts them, an “opportunity” they are petrified of seizing.  So, we hide, ignore, hope no one mentions it.  We look at it from around the corner & then step away.  We dodge these moments, and if we’ve had the fear for a long time, we become experts at dodging.

And yet, overcoming our irrational fears creates big breakthroughs, & incredible liberation & momentum.  When we finally stare it in the eye with determination & resolve, we find that, success or failure, it is never as bad as we imagined.  The monstrous two-wheeled creature is just a glittery pink bike with a bell & cute basket.  Failure is just a skinned knee. 

When we decide to detach the grip of fear and forge forward, we free ourselves from our own self-inflicted torment.  We learn that we have that power.  We experience the endorphin rush of new frontiers which energizes & fires us up to tackle “what’s next.”  We realize that moving forward is a lot more exhilarating than two-stepping cautiously in our safety zone. 

Exhilaration is contagious.  Not just to others but to ourselves.  It makes us hungry for more.  Facing irrational fears is the fastest path to growth.  As Nike Inspires Us:  Just Do It.  And then celebrate like crazy.  Shirley Temples On The House.

 

Seth, Superman, & Your Cape June 23, 2011

I subscribe to Seth Godin’s blog, and truthfully, it is one of the few that I read faithfully.  Often, I finish reading and am singing, Right On! Or – That is SO IT!  Not all – but many are Eureka moments. Not because he’s sharing information that is new or because it falls into the genius category (although some of it does).  And not because I agree with all of it (because I don’t).  But because he’s incredibly concise.  He speaks in punches.  No flowerly rhetoric, no strange metaphors… just his clear, quick view on reality. 

And he is profoundly SETH.  His style is totally unique and unwavering.  You could read his blog in a lineup with 50 others, and you could pick his out.  He literally puts himself on the page.  A little raw and sometimes in fragments, but always his candid, sometimes sardonic opinion presented in a way intended to bend your mind and widen your perspective.  This is his brilliance.   

We all have the opportunity to be profoundly US.  Most of us mask our true self by overediting our words – both spoken & written – or copying the style of someone else.  But have you noticed that the wildly successful folks with big time tribes are simply the real deal?  They put it out exactly the way they feel it & see it?  And people SWARM to them because we all love authenticity & courage.

And being 150% “raw you” takes courage.  Most of us adapt like chameleons to our setting.  Adaptability is good, but there is a fine line before you abandon who you truly are at your core.  And thus, you shortcut people’s access to you in your purest form.  Our brilliance (and we are all brilliant in our own way) only manifests when we are authentic with the world.  Thus, donning the mask or wearing someone else’s Superman Cape simply cheats the world of our brilliance.  That’s a high cost.  Plus, trying to fit into someone else’s cape is just too much work.  And even if we can squeeze in, we’ll still never take flight.