Lead Your Life

Leadership, Awareness, and Growth

You look like you’re here, but are you? March 13, 2018

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Recently, a fabulous yoga instructor at Pure Yoga in Asheville encouraged us to feel what we are feeling & notice the emotion. Sometimes our emotions have been dragged from the past & sometimes lassoed from the future. The question is; Are we experiencing fully & thus feeling deeply the present moment?

That morning as she guided us to witness, I found I had lugged frustration to my mat from the past. Through this inquiry, I was able to realize that there was absolutely nothing frustrating about the present moment which consisted of sitting quietly with my breath listening to the wisdom of a teacher I respect.

In the present moment of that class, all was well. I believe if we truly took stock of our emotions, we might find this to be true more often than not. That, in the present moment, all is well & the discomfort we are experiencing is either dated or foreshadowed. And sometimes, the discomfort is truly related to the present moment. Part of living well is giving ourselves permission to feel our lives deeply and honestly.

And… Can we discern between the NOW and what was or what’s coming so that we stay awake to what is?


be all there


Our Purpose Path February 20, 2018

**Article originally published by WNC Women February 2018**


I hesitate to say I’ve learned anything completely as mastery is elusive.  Time shifts understanding and advances possibility.  And thus, what I can say is I am on the path to learn a better way.  A better way to make an impact, live fully, care for myself, and love unabashedly.

In my life, I have overemphasized the importance of work.  I’m quite skilled at this imbalance and have prescribed to the “first in, last out” attendance policy, gone the extra mile(s) always, and sacrificed health and personal relationships as the price of progress.

It sounds horrid, I know.  However, it looks quite lovely.  I am happily married with two beautiful teenagers I adore and who for the most part, adore me.  I own two businesses currently of wildly different missions; a building materials manufacturing company and Pure Yoga in downtown Asheville.  In my career, I have worked in corporate consulting, sold and bought businesses, turned personal passions into entrepreneurial enterprises, and logged a lot of frequent flyer miles and hours.

I say all of this from a place of humility as the way in which I have blazed this path is pocked with scars from using more force than grace.  While I’ve studiously managed my calendar to ensure presence with my family, this lifestyle has cooled friendships, waylaid adventure, and demised wellness.

Is a better way possible?  Must it mean giving up something in order to create a new? How differently might the world look standing on top of the wheel versus running at full sprint on the wheel?  We each have these questions to answer.  For me, I am learning to soften, to lean into experience as a sister companion to achievement.

11 years ago, I had a significant health crisis.  The year was 2006.  I was in the middle of an acquisition, my children were 2 and 4, and I was slowly, blindly running out of fuel.  I was strategically limiting my sleep so as to advance my work and be present for my kids, and eventually, my body began to fail.  It’s sneaky way of calling a time-out, no doubt as my hair began to fall out, my speech shattered, and my muscles atrophied.  I ached from head to toe, and I would drive places not knowing how I got there.

How can this even be?  I’m a long distance runner, avid hiker, golfer, lover of life.  I’m optimistic, genuinely happy, and surrounded by love.  I eat well, moderated everything that should be moderated, and yet, there I was in a slow fade.

My doctor’s comment to me?  “Your lifestyle looks great on paper.  And yet, if you don’t make a change, I’ll meet you in the hospital within 6 weeks.”   For someone who had always been in control of self and result, this was a shocking prognosis.  If I hadn’t been so overwhelmingly exhausted, I might have been petrified.

This type of depletion does not happen overnight.  In fact, there had been signs carefully ignored for 2 years leading up to it; symptoms, test results, subtle nudges from family.  All indicators that I believed mind over matter could eradicate.  For goodness sake, I didn’t have time to be sick.  I had two children, a husband, a dog that kept running away, and a business to lead.

And so, I finally got serious about the true roots of wellness. Here’s a secret I learned: they are deeper than our society wants us to believe.  We are told to eat well and exercise (no doubt because these two factors have immediate impact on appearance).  We are not taught that mindfulness is nourishment for our soul & deep sleep for our bodies.  We are not taught that our breath is a gateway to radiance.

We are taught to balance the plates in the air & by all means, look good doing it. As an achievement junkie, I had mastered that skill set.  I believe this is a skill set many women master.  You, my dear reader friend, can most likely relate. Your story reads differently and yet it is the same with altered characters and settings.

The next several years were an exercise of healing.  My eternal love affair with yoga started with a single mat practice led by an uncertified teacher in a country club dining room.  I eventually made my way to a meditation cushion, and while this practice still requires strong “self-nudges,” I am grateful for the way it rehabilitates every day regardless of what’s happening in my life.  I stopped distance running, slept more, and began eating to nourish and nurture versus control my weight.  And yes, I took 2 weeks off from work.  And while that may not sound like much, for me, it was a feat as that’s as much time as I took following the birth of both of my children.  (Sigh.)

I discovered gratitude as a practice versus emotion, and I expanded my net of connection by opening my heart and investing my time with friends I cherish.

It took 3 years for my markers to return to “low normal;” a daily reminder to me that these sacred vessels we are given to explore our life are to be treated with care and intention.

Today, my life may not look that differently than it did prior to 2006.  I still own and lead my manufacturing company, I have created two yoga studios; selling the first when my family moved to Asheville last year, and investing my heart and passion into the second.  I have paused one of my passions turned entrepreneurial enterprises to support wholehearted living versus whole-minded working, and my children are now teenagers.  They are my wisdom holders; allowing me to see every day what it looks like to play in life, to relish in being, and to come back to the middle path.  They also gently remind me when work absorbs me; while simultaneously accepting me as I am.

I’m wired to work.  Work has always been a strange word to me with its reference to unwanted but mandatory effort.  For me, it has always felt like impact, and for that, I am happy.

In my career, I have talked to hundreds of people; mostly women, about their life’s path and struggle.  I hear universal threads that link us all.  A desire for connection, a deep wanting for joy and fulfillment, and a question around how we are called to live meaningfully.  To live a life that lives beyond our lifetime.

My answer?  Trust yourself.  Slow down and listen.  Move your body in ways that heal your body and spirit.  Receive food as self-care.  Know that you know.  Confide in your sister friends.  Pursue impact.  Meaningful work happens because we clarify our purpose path, we courageously eliminate distractions, and then we get busy bringing it to life.  That’s the better way.








Off the wagon February 9, 2018

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Greetings!  I am dusting myself off from the clumsy fall from the wagon as I write.  It is February 9th, and the resolution wagon has hit the unexpected potholes of distraction and boredom.  In hindsight, with 46 years of life experience, perhaps surprise shouldn’t be my response.

What I intended to do at the beginning of extraordinary 2018?

  • Meditate twice daily for 20 minutes
  • Stop eating corn chips (aided by my new found meditative presence)
  • Complete my eating before 8PM (aided by my elimination of my dietary weakness: crunchy salty)
  • Sleep 8 hours a night (aided by a well-oiled digestive system)
  • Practice non-reaction (aided by rest)
  • Dance every day for any amount of time (aided by my total lack of concern of what anyone will think if they witness it).

What is actually happening?

I’m meditating once a day treating it like it’s a drugstore multi-vitamin I have to remember to choke down; performance I’m certain is directly related to #4: Non – reaction.  If this morning’s “discussion” with my husband about who has dog duty is any indication of how that’s going, I’m going to have to give myself a strong D-.  I am sleeping 8 hours a night meaning I’m under the sheets for that amount of time albeit less restfully than I envisioned, and I am doing a jig of sorts daily (mostly by myself as you cannot believe how difficult it is to get others to break out into spontaneous dance).  And the corn chips…  Hmmmm.  I can truthfully say I have not had a corn chip before 7PM a single time (which should give you immediate insight on my no eating after 8PM).

On a scale of 1 – 10 on self-discipline and willpower, I am a solid 9.8.  Decide? Check.  Do the Thing?  Done Yesterday.

So what gives?  As part of the self-audit royal family, my assessment is multi-pronged.  I’m happy to share my audit results using myself as an example of what I believe is likely familiar to all of us.

  1. What’s My Why?  The greatest predictor of future success is clarity around why it matters and the ignition of passion around that WHY. While I have a WHY for all, I can only classify a couple as having a strong why meaning my WHY is greater in meaning and emotion than my WHY NOT.   If you cave on corn chips simply because they are delicious, it’s hard to argue that you lack a strong why.
  2. What’s My Plan?  I am in love with spreadsheets and project management (I know, TMI).  And….  I had no concrete plan for at least two of the above.
  3. What’s My Exit Strategy?  Even the most conditioned mind frays from time to time.  An exit strategy is a game plan premeditated for use when we are staring enticement or challenge in the eye.  Take corn chips.  First error?  Having them in the house.  Second error?  Not having an acceptable backup to handle cravings and/or a “stave off the craving” pep talk cued up on my pantry door, iPhone, palm.  Even I can see through my excuse:  “I’m buying them for my kids even though they would choose ANYTHING else as a snack.”
  4. What’s my joy?  Can I deeply connect with the benefit of my resolution in action and can I dwell in the joy of the process of creating that habit?  Easy to do this when you are dancing, but it takes deep digging to do this when practicing non-reaction.
  5. Is it a SHOULD DO versus a ritual of goodness?  Based on statistics, Webster should change the definition of RESOLUTION to mean:  Destined to fail within 39 days.  Just ask any yoga studio owner.  Can we drop this language and instead see our commitments as rituals that we are grooving into our life to feel cared for by ourselves and to live our dream?
  6. What’s the sweet spot?  The 6 resolutions above are really a subset of my full list (which is 10 but I know you don’t have the patience to read all 10 because you aren’t meditating either).  This is a chronic mistake I make:  Biting off more than I can chew.  The resolution I feel most passionately about is non-reaction.  It is also the one that has the greatest potential to impact the quality of my life, and it is a beast on its own.  Could just one ritual at a time be perfectly enough?

What are your reasons for dusting yourself off?



Life is like poker February 6, 2018


Someone once described life to me as a card game.  There are seasons to simply pass by the game, seasons to find your fellow players & choose the game, to pick up the card deck and shuffle, to deal, and to play.  Truthfully, this analogy annoyed me more than illuminating life’s cyclical nature; however, years later I can see this natural rhythm happening all around me.  In my life & in yours.

And while I’d love a more poetic metaphor, the card game is quite accurate.  The real learning is in our discernment on timing.  Are we tuned into our heart and inner wisdom deeply and clearly enough to recognize the season?  To notice when the season begins to shift?  Do we have the courage and grace to follow the shift?

If I take a moment in stillness and know what I know beyond my cognition, I can recognize the signs of the season.  I can spot the tiny changes that lead to the end of one and the entry of another.  Much like the buds on a tree signaling spring, I can sense within what is emerging.

The difference between natural transitions and human transitions is we can opt out.  The budding tree doesn’t halt spring’s arrival because you didn’t notice it, and the first cold wind doesn’t head back north taking winter with it just because you resisted its arrival.

A deck of cards; however, does not deal itself.  It does not send the invitation to the game.  It just waits until you engage.  And if our standard mode of operation is full steam ahead, we may not even notice its existence let alone its question.

The question it asks us is: Where am I called to be now?  What does fulfillment look like now?  What chapter of my life am I truly in and what is my impact throughout it?  And from that place of awareness,  courageous choice and graceful action.

Our world will tell you: play the game, play the game, play the game.  And as a lover of playing the game, I take the bait every time.  And, sometimes that’s aligned.  And sometimes not.  If our choice was cued from external guidance, misalignment is inevitable.

So turn within…  What season are you in?


Corpse Pose January 29, 2018

It’s the end of your yoga practice, and the teacher turns down the lights.  You know it’s coming…. savasana.  Deep rest.  No more sweating, twisting, or balancing.

Savasana translates to corpse pose.  Don’t let that make you feel any less affectionate about it!  The name reminds us that this pose is more than just resting.  It means to die to our little self (ego) so that our big Self (spirit) can soar.

In practical every day life, that might mean you invite your stories, fears, and limiting beliefs to pass away.  Your story of not enough time, your fear of failure, and your self chatter of “I’m not good enough.”

It might mean that we allow our roles and responsibilities to cease so that we know ourselves beyond our roles.  We connect with the essence of who we are, our divine state, first and foremost with a secondary interest in our responsibilities.  We value ourselves on our heart versus our achievements.  We love ourselves deeply as we are in our being versus our doing.

And it might mean that we simply let our thoughts die.  That at the end of our practice after we’ve worked out our bodies, minds, and energy, that we simply abide in stillness without effort.

For me, my body often appears to be in savasana but the rest of me is raring to go.  My mind is fired, my attention alert, my roles intact.  When this happens, can we let our judgement of self die?  Simply let what is be as it is.  Breathe it out.  Witness.  Accept.  Try anew.


A * MAZE October 5, 2017

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  • Amaze:  In awe / overwhelmed with wonder.
  • A maze:  A winding, unknown, unpredictable journey from start to stop.

To quote my friend, Linzi, “Same, Same, but Different.”

We can choose amazement in the midst of the ordinary if we choose to be overwhelmed with wonder by the potential of each and every moment.  It is a state of openness and curiosity mixed with acceptance and reverence.  It sounds lovely, yes?  But it does require that we depart well-groomed trails of repeat experiences and see each one as an unchartered maze.  In other words, to treat each moment as if it is brand new to us.

Can we be amazed by the beauty of what is, the possibility of what is coming, and the diversity of the people we meet?    Can we remember in the midst of routine to be amazed by the work that we do; recognizing its importance in creating a world that we are excited to leave for our children and grandchildren?  Can we be overwhelmed with wonder when we consider the whole of who we are?



What is the sweet spot? June 26, 2017

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middle path

One of the basic tenets of Buddhism is the idea of walking the middle path in our life. Life is not entirely this or that, all action and no rest, total elation without sadness.  Wholehearted living calls us to find the sweet spot of harmony; the ebb and flow of the middle path.

The same is true as we think about allowing our life to unfold and take shape.  A life without   intention dilutes our impact; our days a whim or hope.  A life without dreaming and space is an over-engineered structure too heavy and complex for freedom and flexibility to survive.

Can we find the sweet spot; both allowing and willing, creating and surrendering, leading and following, architecting & dreaming?

When you find your mind planning, strategizing, and structuring the future, remind yourself to embrace flow and grace & to be totally present in this moment.  That’s where the magic lives, yes?  It is right now that we create, cultivate, and celebrate.   In this moment, take a deep breath and let that breath go.  As we slow our breath, we slow our experience of time.

Take a moment and consider where you are living at the outer edge of your continuum; creating an imbalance.  Shift towards the middle path, & sink into the sweet spot of both creating and being created.