Lead Your Life

Leadership, Awareness, and Growth

What does that word even mean? January 9, 2018

reverence

My favorite definition of reverence comes from Gary Zukav who defines it as this:

“Reverence is engaging in a form and a depth of contact with Life that is well beyond the shell of hte form and into the essence.  Reverence is contact with the essence of each thing, person, plan, bird, and animal.  It is contact with the interior of its beingness.  

Reverence is an attitude of honoring Life.  It is simply the experience of accepting that all Life is of value; in and of itself.”

I’m toying with this idea of seeing beyond sight to the interior of life:   To the interior of myself, to the interior of you, to the interior of relationships, to the interior of experience.  To dwell in connection with the essence versus form.  To experience by feeling versus thinking.

When we roll out our mat, we stand before a great opportunity to draw in the interior.  To move beyond habit and lean in towards the richness of reverence.

The rubber on the reverence road is engaging in the essence of what haunts or challenges us.  Maybe the “form” of that is a person or situation (and within both a belief we hold).  And if the only life we can course select is our own, then what does reverence look like in these sticky spots?

For me, I believe that our individual creation alone speaks to our divinity at the seat of our being.  Whether our life’s actions mirror that divinity is our choice; however, I live with the belief that within everyone, regardless of noise, abides divinity as essence.  And so, can I see it when the conversation is twisted?  Can I see it when I feel mistreated or underappreciated?  Can I dwell in the interior of a person versus poking at their exterior with my frustrated thoughts?

I roll out my mat for many reasons.  And this is one.  To learn to choose better in every moment so that more moments are spent in reverence.

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Why do we roll? January 2, 2018

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starts here

Roll out our mat, that is.

What brings us to yoga is often not what draws us back.  We come wanting, striving, reaching for wellness, inner peace, and connection.  We come back to receive its gifts in a knowing that it is not about “doing yoga” but about allowing yoga to envelope us.  And instead of thinking we are “changed;” meaning we’ve altered our state, perhaps we can consider that we are awakened to our true and natural state.

Always there; waiting for us to notice.

A gift of our practice is harmony.  We practice over and over, and then one day sometime between our opening om and our closing savasana, we wake up to the simple wisdom that we are so much bigger than our mind.  That our intelligence bursts beyond the limits of our cognitive thinking.

Our mind – that beautiful cranium that resides in our upper quarter – was divinely designed as a tool.  And with any tool, we use appropriately and with purpose.  We use a hammer when a hammer is needed, a wrench when a wrench is needed, and we keep the whole tool kit tucked away when we have no need at all.  (And given that we have upwards of 70,000 thoughts a day; most of which are repetitive, unconscious, and not helpful, I might argue that we don’t need it as often as we assume).

Our mind enables us to use discernment, solve problems, map out, and progress forward.  Without it, we would struggle to exit bed let alone have a meaningful impact.  However, much like the hammer, it is not always the only and/or most meaningful source of intelligence to apply.

Within us we carry divine intelligence, innate wisdom, heart knowing, and body brilliance.  All guides and as powerful as our mind.

So we roll out our  mat, and we signal to the brain:  Relax. Trust. Play well with others.  I am grateful to you, and I am not enslaved to you.  And while our intelligence habit is one of mind dominance, we come to our mat to access our full knowing, our total Self.

 

 

Where do you dwell? December 14, 2017

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One of my favorite quotes by Emily Dickinson is “Dwell in Possibility”.  We typically see this as a stand alone quote, but it is actually the first sentence of a poem that ends with:

“I extend the narrow width of my hand and I discover paradise.”

Dwell in possibility. Extend the narrow width of your hand and discover paradise. To me, this is a reminder that paradise lives within us.  Not within the confines of what we can see, touch and smell but beyond the edge of the tangible.   We extend our hand to serve, to love, to connect.  We extend our hand to help, to soothe, and to simply be with.

As we consider the paradise of our life, can we see it from the lens of the narrow width of our hand?  Not in possession or achievement but in touch and service.  The sweetness of life requiring nothing more than reaching out.

 

 

Off Center December 11, 2017

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Last night at our family meeting, I shared that my goal was to remain centered this week in the midst of busyness.  I have a habit of looking at the fire vigorously blazing and throwing one or two irons in for fun creating a weekly calendar that could win the talent show for best costume; a KAPOW cartoon shaped bomb.

This week is no exception.  As I reviewed my calendar & prepared my work plan this weekend, I have an internal eye rolling exchange with my higher self as we chide my ego for feeding the monster that is over commitment.

I come back to my center through movement and breath.  These are particularly fabulous tools when your life’s logistics embody flow from the start, but as this is rarely the place from which I start, I find myself returning to versus residing in centered existence more often than not.

This whole overscheduling is a topic for another day, as today I am curious about the law of murphy.

When I commit to something, I’m in 100%.  So, I am ALL IN with this goal of remaining centered.  And then I woke up this morning.

  • Dogs barking to go outside before my alarm goes off.
  • Slipped on ice taking the dogs out
  • Driving my husband’s car which, I discover at 6AM, has no gas.
  • First gas station’s pumps “are down.”  Head to second station in 22 degree weather.
  • Door to my office is jammed.

All before 6:30AM.

I was doing fairly well until I discovered the jammed door.  I am standing outside holding my backpack, my food for the day, my bag with a change of clothes, and my purse.  I look hilarious but be assured, I don’t feel hilarious.  And I feel spontaneous reaction bubbling from the bowels of my inner Oscar the Grouch Trashcan.

And so what do we do?  Fortunately for me, I attended a Laughter Yoga workshop yesterday and decided to groove new neurological pathways by forcing belly laughter out until I authentically cracked myself up and laughed for real.  Let us remember that it is early and no one is around.  I am standing alone at the entry to an office building holding 4 bags laughing like a lunatic.  Thank God for light security.

And then I used the power of choice.  For we cannot always control our reaction but we can choose what follows.  I choose to breathe deeply, give myself a shake and a pep talk, and then walk around the building to the back door.  Easy Peasy.  No temper tantrum needed.

Centering is both simple and difficult.  Consider; however, the quality of experience you have when you are centered versus not.  For me, it’s worth the effort and it is worth disappointing my ego and her need to freak out from time to time.

Choose Well!

 

 

 

What is your funny bone anyway? November 14, 2017

My grandmother used to always say “that tickles my funny bone.”  And she had a carefree, easy laughter that sang joy in her space.  And while her life certainly challenges her at times, her attitude and perspective were steadily, if not resolutely,  positive.

She feels deeply across the spectrum of emotions, and she taught me to allow others to see you fully.  She’s not a hider, and yet, her most common state of being is joy.  Even in the midst of a busy life, the early death of her spouse, and the mental illness of a child.

Sometimes we laugh spontaneously; overcome with pleasure.  We find ourselves immersed in the sweetness of life’s nectar bemused, bright, and grateful.

And sometimes laughter is stifled by challenge and joy requires a deep dive into our heart.  These are the moments that matter the most; when levity & light aren’t the natural byproduct of a circumstance.

In these moments, we choose.  We choose the connector AND versus BUT as in “I am feeling deeply sad AND blessed.”  In these moments, we decide to “be fully in” our life while not allowing a circumstance to override our spirit.

Most of the time we live somewhere in the middle.  Our lives busy with routines and activities, we risk falling asleep at the wheel of our life.  Missing the sparkle or the opportunity to just giggle a little and for no reason.

When we decide to cultivate joy in the tiniest of ways, we can trust that those tiniest moments added together turn into a powerful pattern of joyful living.  As my dear friend Linzi would say:  “Leave a sparkle trail of happiness to illuminate the way for others.”

 

To Give Joy November 7, 2017

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Disclaimer:  Huge fan of conscious joy.

  • Question:  What in the world is that?
  • Answer:  Conscious joy is joy by choice in all moments.
  • Question:  How about authenticity?  How about allowing ourselves to feel deeply? to mourn and grieve?  To express our anger and sadness?

The word joy roots from the word REJOICE.  Rejoice is defined as “To Give Joy.”

When life gives you lemons, .make lemonade.  Yes, and…..

Can we experience deep, unwavering joy regardless of what’s rocking our world?  Can we be so deeply connected to our truth, to our divinity, & to our blessings that our challenges are continuously calibrated to their appropriate magnitude:  in existence but not in dominance of?

In a nutshell:  Can we authentically experience pain while simultaneously holding space for joy?  

In my life, I’ve had experiences that seem planetary systems away from joy, and yet, I’m learning that it is possible to stay in my heart space and rejoice through these painful, finite moments.  Sometimes, the holding of both comes with ease and sometimes not.  Sometimes it would seem I just can’t.  At least I can’t today.  And, I’m open to the possibility that through growth & intention, I could be someday.

What is your experience?

 

 

I’m not stressed…. November 2, 2017

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stress

Stress is a creeper in our lives.  We are so busy “doing” that we don’t notice all of that “getting it done” is coming from a place of fight or flight.  When (if) we stop, we finally notice that we are worn out, exhausted, sleeping poorly, and anxious.

So what to do?  We feel more stressed trying to solve stress because we know what to do, and with best intentions, most of us aren’t doing it.  No bubble baths, daily meditation, counting our breath.  No funny movies to replace the news (facebook), no earlier bed time, and no daily yoga.  So, we keep “doing”, busily checking off the to-do’s on our list all the while giving ourselves a failing grade (judgement) on our self-care habits.

Sounds like a fabulous way to treat the person with whom we have our most intimate relationship, huh?

I’m an advocate for all the “things” we can do to reduce stress with a particular affinity for breath work and a physical yoga practice.  These are miracle workers in my life, and there is something even simpler that requires no extra time or special outfit.

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to
choose one thought over another.
-William James

Where we place our attention expands.  For most of us lowly curious-about but not yet enlightened souls, our thoughts bubble up without us noticing.  This idea of choosing our thoughts seems almost laughable as our thoughts are grooved deeply into our subconsciousness and then, via bullet train, blast through to our consciousness.

What we can do is observe the thoughts upon arrival at the station, and then decide which to leave on the train, which to reshape, and which to embrace.  Sometimes the thought is deeply seeded, negative and easily refutable.

Think the “big story” in your life: I’m not good enough, I’m not smart, I’m too fat…..  These stories require intentional abandonment moment by moment and replacement with soul speak.  I am enough exactly as I am, I love myself as I am.”  Thich Nhat Hanh teaches to say “Dear One, I am here for you.”

Sometimes the thought is about the daily happenings, our perceptions of others, or our ruminations on the past and future.  Think “I can’t believe he said that, and she thinks I’m….”

I practice reframing these thoughts into questions.  How true is that?  What am I making that mean?  How can I contribute to something better in this situation?

There is one tool that can be used in almost all situations:  gratitude.  When your mind is swimming, just begin speaking aloud your blessings.  There’s something powerful about hearing your voice say thank you over and over that quiets the mind, expands the heart, and drains the negativity.